This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
