You really coming over, don't trick.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
