I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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