Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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