i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
She's not a foreskin expert like you
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
