It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
