as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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