So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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