the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
