He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I am spending my child support on dildos
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
