i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
