is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
