You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
