if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
