Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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