It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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