end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
