the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
