I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
