I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
