6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
one might say we're banned from that church
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
worst night to have a conscience
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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