Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
