I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
