Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
My ass is underappreciated
Randomize
