The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize