That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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