We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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