p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
