Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Randomize
