Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
it glows. i had to have it.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
