He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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