no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
