You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
