The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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