Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
