Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
