It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
where are you?
Hypothermia
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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