Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Randomize
