even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I am naked and annoyed.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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