Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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