Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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