dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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