clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
