I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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