no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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