i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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