Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
