ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Randomize
