When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
