dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
