I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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