just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
