Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
