I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
my liver is dry heaving
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