she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I'm sobbing to NWA
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
