all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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